Tricky Concept
by knowhere
Summary: Literati. For once, she didn’t get what she wanted. Despite the fact that it breaks her heart, she wants to be happy for him. AU.


**Tricky Concept**

Author: Knowhere

Rating: Pg-13

Disclaimer: Nothing.

AN: Oh my…what on earth is happening? I can't seem to get my head out of writing anything except for stories.

Summary: Literati. For once, she didn't get what she wanted. Despite the fact that it breaks her heart, she wants to be happy for him. AU.

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Our bodies are facing each other, me with my back to the door, him with a serene expression on his face. I don't know how any of this happened. Last week I was talking to Mom, and suddenly she blurted it out to me. There was no emotion when I heard. I couldn't feel my legs. My heart sank into the depths of my stomach, and I felt like I was being burned alive. Coming here today, I had never expected any of this to happen. I don't even know how we got here...

"I'm getting married today. Is there anything you want to say to me?" His eyes don't hold any expectation, just a simple question at the end of a complicated road.

I pick the lint on my pants. "Is there something you want me to want to say to you?"

He shrugs, but rolls his eyes in a manner that I know was meant for me to see. "Grow up, will ya?"

"I didn't come for whatever you're thinking. I didn't come to charge down the aisle and break up my ex-boyfriend's wedding."

"You didn't. Wedding's not for a couple more hours." He gestures with his hand. "Then what did you come for?"

"To see you. To wish you good luck."

"That all?"

I raise my eyebrow. "Should there be more?"

"You tell me."

I shake my head. "There isn't more."

He pauses. "I think that's a bullshit answer."

I chuckle humorlessly. "I was never good at lying."

"No, you weren't."

"She seems nice."

He nods. "You met her." It's a question wrapped in a statement. He was always good at doing that.

"Just passing. Brief introduction. Nothing much."

He ignores me. "She is nice."

I laugh again, my toes are curling inside my shoes and I feel like I've swallowed a bug. "Life's weird, isn't it? I always thought I'd be getting married before you."

He remains silent.

"Yeah. I thought I'd be the one with my life in order." I tilt my head. "Not that it's out of order, it's just...slightly messy. Lonely. But you...you seem, happy?" What am I hoping to hear? _No, I'm not happy. I love you, Rory._ How childish can I be?

"Being happy is a tricky concept."

I shrug my shoulders and for some reason I'm agitated. "What does that mean? Happy is a tricky concept?"

"It means whatever the hell you want it to mean, Rory."

I sigh, defeated. "I don't want to fight."

He lets it go. "Okay." He's watching me, I can tell. His eyes are roaming my features, and I don't do anything to stop him. It's too personal, too intimate. It feels like he's touching me, but the reality is that he's only visually cataloguing me.

"What is it about her?"

His shoulders slump. "Don't."

"No, I'm curious."

He faces me. "I care about her."

That hits me like a ton of bricks. The space between our bodies is less than five feet, but it might as well be the Grand Canyon. "Oh."

"You didn't want me, Rory. You wanted someone else."

I nod dumbly as tears begin to gather in my eyes.

I know he sees them, but continues anyways. Not out of anger or spite, but because it's the simple truth. "You didn't want to be with me." He sighs and runs his hand through his hair. "Don't make this hard on me. Please."

I jerk my head up hearing his soft request. Smiling through tears I nod. "Okay."

To my surprise, he's crying too. I've never in my life, seen Jess cry. "Be happy for me. Tell me it's okay."

My heart is breaking. There's nothing else to say. I whisper, "It's okay."

He nods. "I'll always love you."

I smile sadly as tears burn down my throat. "Me too."

"It's crazy that the first time you've ever said that to me is on the day of my wedding."

"Life's crazy."

"It sure is." He smiles sadly and turns to open the door.

I watch emotionless as it closes behind him. Closing my eyes, I replay the last ten minutes. In my mind, I did have something prepared. There was something I wanted to say.

_"I'm getting married today. Is there anything you want to say to me?"_

_"Don't."_

But as I watched him, so comfortable and so right...I didn't have the heart. He deserves to be happy. No matter how tricky that concept may be.

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**AN: **Review please.


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